Jennifer Barley

Free Preview Call: 7 Enlightened Tips on How to Lose The Thoughts That Are Weighing You Down

Ho-ho-whoa! 

It is that time of the year that we swear off sweets, put away the pie and make yet another resolution to get our butts in gear when it comes to weight, food and fitness.

It all feels so familiar, doesn't it? The cycle of weight loss and the determination that THIS year is going to be the year that it is different.  

Well, it truly can be different IF you are willing to do things differently. Instead of coming at it with how many calories are in this egg, how can I work out for 30 days in a row, how can I never eat chocolate again --- how about approaching it from understanding who you really are. True success comes from the coach approach to your beliefs around weight, food and fitness.

Please join me for a free teleclass where I will reveal my 7 enlightened tips that will change your thinking around dieting, weight loss, body image, food and emotional eating.

Details:

When: Monday, January 2, 2012

Time: 7:00 - 8:00 pm EST 

How: This is a call in teleclass.  You phone in to a conference line with a unique passcode and be a part of this teleclass.  

Cost: FREE (long distance charges may apply)

Everyone who registers for the call will receive an audio recording of the call as well.

I am super exited to share my tips with you and introduce a new way to really understand your thoughts around food and fitness.  Then you will have the ability to make changes that actually support you and your goals.

So -- what are you waiting for?  It is time to change your life.

Register now...by clicking here.

"See" you on the call on Monday -- it will be a great way to KickStart the New Year.

To learn more about me as the presenter, please visit my website at: www.jenniferbarley.com or if you have specific questions -- please email me at: jennifer@jenniferbarley.com

Never Underestimate the Inclination to Bolt....

Bolt. Dash. Dart. Run. Leave. Slip out the back, jack....The words all mean the same thing.

When a feeling is too big for me -- too uncomfortable -- I just want the escape plan. The emergency exit. Or at least a loophole, so I can get out of the uncomfortable-ness of whatever is going on.

I have learned that I have a low tolerance for discomfort. Oh, I can walk many a miles, or ride many of roads, or hike huge big-ass hills....what I am talking about is discomfort of emotions, situations, myself, other people's feelings, the unknown.

Not knowing what is going to come next can create the inclination to bolt.   To actually have to wait through it all and to be at peace at whatever the outcome might be can create the sudden distress of looking for the escape hatch.

There are a lot of ways to bolt.  To leave, to shutdown, to eat when there isn't even a sign of hunger, to shop, to numb out, to watch reality tv to excess.

To not bolt means that I am willing to stay with vulnerability...to have difficult conversations, to trust my gut, to love unconditionally, to let others experience their own experience. To question what I don't understand, to ask for what I need, to listen to my heart, to identify what it is that I am actually feeling, to be authentic.

When the desire to bolt comes to me --- I just have to remind myself to stay.  Just stay. To stay and see what is actually going to happen. To trust that I have everything I need to be able to handle whatever outcomes may come my way.  Because if I don't stay -- who knows what I might be missing.

When do you have the inclination to bolt?

Weight Loss Interview on Green Tea and Honey Radio

I was interviewed about resolutions and weightloss on Santa Cruz's Green Tea and Honey Radio program.  

It was a great discussion about weight loss, thoughts, feelings and actions and learning how to trust yourself.

Here is the audio file:

 

Green_Tea_and_Honey_01-15-11-1 1

Click on the bar above. Enjoy!

 

Why Are We Drinking Sand?

 Tonight is the start of a new book study group around Geneen Roth's Women, Food and God.  I always love when new groups get together to learn about themselves and one another.

In Chapter 2 of the book -- on page 32, Geneen writes: "Women turn to food when they are not hungry because they are hungry for something they can't name: a connection to what is beyond the concerns of daily life....But replacing the hunger for divine connection with Double Stuf Oreos is like giving a class of sand to a person dying of thirst."

Hence -- the crux of emotional eating.  There are many debates on the internet about the question --if you eat when you are not hungry -- is it really emotional eating?

I say "yes". 

When we eat because we are not hungry it can be to avoid an emotion or to prolong an emotion.  I do know that we are not always aware of what emotion is going on.  But until we are willing to explore what we are avoiding or prolonging, how will we ever be able to process it, understand it, or feel it?

Understanding emotional eating is all about connection.  Connecting our thoughts to our feelings to our actions.  Connecting to our true desires.  Connecting the patterns and the dots in order to change what doesn't really work for us.  Connecting to our deepest selves.

And to be honest, sometimes we would rather drink sand when we are dying of thirst.

What are we really afraid of learning about ourselves that we ignore the emotional eating?  What is better about being in denial than understanding who we really are?

Why it is easier to hate our thighs, berate ourselves, and wish we could live a different life than to connect with the life we have?

I have my online Women, Food and God Book Study, three week Tele-Class series starting Thursday September 9th.  It will be from 5:30 - 6:45 PST on 9/9, 9/16, and 9/23.  For more information, please click here.

Online Book Study Group - Women, Food and God Announced!

I have been leading a local book study group for Geneen Roth's best-selling book, Women, Food and God.  It is amazing all that we have learned, the discussions that were had, and the a-ha moments that were shared.

I have decided to offer an online book group - in a teleclass format - to continue the discussion.  Here are the details:

Three Week Book Study Group
Thursday Evenings - September 9th, 16th and 23rd
5:30 - 6:45 PST (7:30 - 8:45 CST - 8:30 - 9:45 EST)

September 9 - Principles: Chapter 1 - 6
September 16 - Practices: Chapters 7 - 10
September 23 - Eating: Chapters 11 - 14

Benefits of the Online Class:

• Receive weekly questions prior to class to use as a study guide to help you formulate your thoughts around the book concepts
• Expert facilitation for discussions to draw out your thoughts
• Common bond with others who are working on better understanding their relationship with food and fitness.
• Audio recordings of each class, in case you miss one, or just want to listen to the classes again.
• Support and guidance for where you are in the process.
• Free Report: 118 Tips, Tricks and Techniques to KickStart A Healthy Relationship with Food and Fitness

Cost for all three classes -- Only $38

Early Bird  Pricing - Register by August 20 and save $5.00 -- only $33

(Price does not include the book or any long-distance phone charges). Check or Credit Card Accepted.

To sign up for the class or if you have questions about the group -- please email me: jennifer@jenniferbarley.com

To review the book or to order it - click here.

The Food On Our Plate....

 I have been leading a book study group on Geneen Roth's book Women, Food and God.  The first group ended last night and it was an amazing three weeks of insights, thoughts, discussion and commonality among 16 women.

In the beginning of the book, Geneen writes, "our relationship to food is an exact microcosm of our relationship to life itself. I believe we are walking, talking expressions of our deepest convictions; everything we believe about love, fear, transformation and God is revealed in how, when and what we eat."

That is so curious to me.  I do believe that we are walking, talking expressions of our deepest convictions -- but how that relates to the food on my plate is a concept I never explored until now.

I've come a long since the 14 year old who use to buy tubs of Betty Crocker vanilla frosting and put food coloring in it -- to make it more festive -- and then would hide the tub in my bedroom closet.  Now being 43 and looking at my relationship with food and how it mirrors my life has been a perfect adventure of self discovery.

So much of my eating has changed in the last 7 weeks alone -- not to mention over the course of the lifetime.  Today, I am focusing on mindful, intuitive eating.  How does that mirrors my life? I am taking an awareness approach to all areas of my life. Paying attention to the details, understanding what is working and what is not.  Shaking things up and trying on new concepts. Redefining normal, as I like to call it.

Also, another food on the plate mirroring life for me has been slowing down.  Before this summer I was always busy, always rushed, always on the go. No time to cook, no rhythm to the schedule, work, work, work.

With Curtis coming on Team Jenn Barley, the quality of our lives has increased so much.  We cook meals together -- breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I am more focused on my work so that I am working less but producing more.  I have the support team.  We have a regular schedule -- and our eating reflects that.  Whole foods, recipes from scratch, eating together.  Slowing down.

Perhaps my overeating of the past was a reflection of feeling like there isn't enough, or a lack of abundance or that I had to get all the "good, delicious, higher cal eating" out of the way, so I could get back to carrots as soon as possible.

Not really sure. I'll have to keep thinking about that.

It is definitely food for thought.

How do you think your plate mirrors your life?

To check out Geneen's book, click here.

Get Inspired. Get In The Game.

In my last post I wrote about some of the challenges I had at my WW meeting. I shared a few thoughts that were based in judgment of what I thought about the meeting. And I had more in my head that I didn't share. Today I started thinking about can I turn those obstacles into opportunities.

Why do things have to be the same ole - same ole?  Why can't we have more meaningful talks, discussions and getting to the root of our thoughts that affect our feelings and drive our action around food and exercise.  What if there was conscious choice that drove us to our health inspired goals?

And I have to say -- I am super inspired.  My creative mind is churning.  My ideas are flying around -- and I think I might be on to something that is a true win-win for you the reader across the world, for the members of the Santa Cruz community, as well as for me.

Stay tuned.  Because you know -- it is not about the string cheese.

Lose the Thoughts That Are Weighing You Down

Just a reminder that the 6 week - Lose The Thoughts That Are Weighing You Down group coaching series for March is filling up fast.

Here's the skinny - This workshop is designed to help you understand your thoughts, feelings and actions around food and exercise.

The Wednesday evening series starts on March 31 and meets for 6 weeks (3/31, 4/7, 4/14, 4/21, 4/28, 5/5) and is from 6:00 - 7:30 pm.

The cost is only $199 for entire series -- if you register by 2/27 -- your cost is only $179.

The series is held in Santa Cruz, CA.

Class size is limited. 

To register or to find out more information, please email jennifer@jenniferbarley.com or call 831-212-2793.

I Am Never So Motivated As I Am When I Go To Bed

What is it about laying in bed that brings about full doses of motivation?

I am relaxed and comfortable -- reflecting on the day. Wishing I had gone to the gym, or passed on the fun sized snicker bar. The following thoughts always pop into my head:

-- Tomorrow, I WILL exercise for an hour at least, super hard, super sweaty!

-- Tomorrow, I WILL only eat salad and fruit and maybe yogurt.

-- Tomorrow, I WILL track it all -- every bite, lick and taste.

--Tomorrow, I WILL not eat when I am not hungry.

Then, it is lights out -- and then it's......

Tomorrow.

Lather, rinse, repeat. 

I am never more motivated than when I am ready to go to bed.

Emotional Eating Alternatives

 

 This week, I started a brand new 12 week food log.  There are little tips written along side in the margin.  The first day it said:  Make a list of five non-food ways to deal with your feelings.

I decided to play along and here is my top 5 list:

1. listen to music
2. exercise
3. work on a fun project
4. write in my journal and experience the feelings
5. go outside

But before any of that can happen -- you have to be aware of why you are eating.  If hunger is not the problem -- then food is not the solution. 

What would your list look like?

Lose The Thoughts That Are Weighing You Down

Six Week Group Coaching Program -

Starting January 27, 2010

Jennifer Barley, Certified Professional Life Coach

Workshop meets: 1/27, 2/3, 2/10, 2/17, 2/24, 3/3

Santa Cruz, CA
Wednesdays 6:00 - 7:30 PM

This in person 6 week group coaching program is designed to help understand your internal thoughts, beliefs, emotions and actions around food and exercise.

Week One:        Explore Your Existing Core Beliefs, Your Core Emotions, and Core Actions re: Food and and Exercise.

Week Two:        Rewriting Your Beliefs to Support You

Week Three:     Creating a Vision to Incorporate New Beliefs

Week Four:       Emotional Drivers and How to Make Them Work For You -- Not Against You

Week Five:       Self Esteem and How it Effects our Efforts

Week Six:          Putting It All Together

This is not a weight loss program -- but a true group coaching environment that will incorporate interactive exercises as well as weekly assignments that will help you identify and keep the throughts that truly support a healthy relationship with food and exercise.

Cost for the program is $199 for the entire 6 week program. 

The cost also includes your own workbook.

Sign up by December 25, 2009 and save $20 -- only $179

Class size is limited.

To sign up for the program or for more information please email me at:  jennifer@jenniferbarley.com

Check or Credit Cards are accepted.

It's Not About The Cheese

Over the past two years -- I have struggled more with my weight than normal.  I was convinced that is was due to too much Taqueria Vallarta and not enough home cooked meals -- or perhaps not exercising as much as I feel that I should.  And while those were contributing factors -- I think there was a lot more to the whole thing that I realized.

I have worked for Weight Watchers (WW) for almost 5 years and I have loved almost everything about it.  I love the members, the subject, the progress, the a-ha moments, the humor, the group dynamic, the power of change.  I had always envision that I would be there forever.  I always called it my dream job.

The Fun Sized Snickers is not that Fun!

Here is  a list of Halloween candy and the amount of WW points  -- this list has been circulating throughout the country for years -- you can always verify by using the info on the nutritional information.

3 Musketeers, 2 fun size bars 3.5

1000 Grand, 2 mini bars 4.5
Abazaba, mini, Each 1
ABC Fruit Chomps, 7 pieces 3
ANDES Creme de Menth Thin Mint , 8 pieces 5.5
Animal Crackers, 11 crackers 3
Almond Joy, 2 snack size bars 4
America1s Original Bubble Gum, 4 pieces 1.5
Atomic Fireballs, Each 1
Baby Ruth, 2 fun size bars 4
Big Hunk, mini, Each 1
Bit-O-Honey, 6 pieces 4
Blow Pops, Each 1.5
Bubble Gum, super, 2 pieces 1
Butterfinger, 2 fun size bars 4
Butternut Mini Bar, .75 oz 2
Candy Corn, 22 pieces 3
Caramello, 2 snack size bars 4
Crispy Caramel Fudge Bar, snack size, Each bar 2
Caramel & Peanut Butter Crispy Bars, snack size, 2
Chocolate Toffee Crisp Bar, snack size, Each bar, 2
Crunchy Peanut Butter Bar, snack size, Each bar, 2
Double Bubble Gum, 2 pieces 1

Every Thing is About Choice....

Yes, you read that right -- every thing is about choice.

However - many people still feel trapped in their lives. Victim to their jobs, their responsibilities, their situations, whatever those situations may be.

Once you realize you have a choice -- well, that can change your whole perspective.  And how much different would our lives be if we actually changed our perspective?

I received an email today from a woman who is frustrated because her co-worker keeps bringing her McDonalds take out every morning for breakfast.  She has asked him to stop to no-avail.  So, perhaps she feels she has to eat it because, well, it is there.

The reality of the situation is that there are a lot of choices:

• She could choose to eat it.
• She could choose to throw it away.
• She could choose to refuse it and put the bag right back on the offender of requests desk.
• She could give it to some one else.
• She could put it in the break room.
• She could save it for lunch.

See, what I mean? -- There are a lot of choices.

When we fall victim to the McDonald's bag or we feel victim to our co-worker’s insensitivity -- we lose all our power.  And when we feel powerless, we tend to feel defeated because why even try?

If the scenario was a part of my life -- this what I would choose to do:

I would take the McDonald's bag to the McOffender and say politely:

“Ronald, I have you in the past to please stop bringing in breakfast to me, and you have chosen to ignore that request.  I know that you are trying to be nice and create a fun atmosphere -- however, for me, it is having a negative effect.  I will no longer accept the fast food breakfasts.  I just wanted to give you a heads up that I will be bringing the bag back to you every morning so that you can make the choice about what you want to continue to do.”

And I would stick to it and EVERY morning that there was a breakfast bag I would return it with a smile on my face.

There.  Done.  And I would not feel guilty.  The request to stop had been made in the past and the behavior didn’t stop.  In the above scenario, I have expressed myself politely, I acknowledge the intention behind the co-workers effort, and I set clear boundaries about what is going to happen. And I gave him the power to choose what he wanted to do the next day. 

Because every thing is about choice.

Managing Your Thoughts

The power of positive thinking.  The power of stinkin' thinking.  It is all in the mind.

It is amazing how we some times talk to ourselves.  It would be embarrassing to let others hear our thoughts.  We would never talk that way to our friends, partners or children -- yet in the privacy of our mind it is amazing what runs through it.

Here is the 411 on various thoughts that may enter your head.

All-or-Nothing Thinking -- we all know this one. 

"I can't believe I ate the whole thing and I am stuffed -- might as well eat all the other things that I have been missing in my life.  I will just start over tomorrow, or Monday or November or 2010."      

This all-or-nothing mentality is based out of fear -- fear of not being successful, fear of never eating our favorite foods again, fear of not being in control enough, or determined enough, or strong enough.

When you are creating a lifestyle -- you are really learning balance.  Accepting unexpected eating occurrences as "it is what it is" and then making the next decision on balancing that decision out will be much more effective. 

It is about thinking "I am determined enough to make the right choice."  "I am strong enough that I am going to go on a walk."  "I am creating a lifestyle that I CAN be in control of."


The 2nd way of thinking is Self-Fulfilling Prophecies.  This is also known as Assumptions.  When you assume something is going to happen because it has happened in the past -- this is an assumption. This assumption is limiting.  Just because it was in our history -- why does it need to be in our future?  We are older and wiser than we once were.  We have grown -- we are different today than yesterday. 

Assumptions come in the form of:  "I've tried to lose weight before and I wasn't successful --so why try now?"  "I never was able to be satisfied with 20 points -- so why bother?"  "I always did well until I lost 15 pounds then I was never able to get further."

This type of thinking -- based on Assumptions -- allows us to give ourselves permission to not even try.  WHAT?  Not even try???? 

You have the power to create a different future.  You have the power to live the life that you want.  History does not need to repeat itself.  You have the power to re-write it.

The third type of stinkin' thinking is Absolute Thinking.  I call this limiting beliefs.  Limiting beliefs are from stories that other people have told us or stories we have told ourselves that include words like ALL, NEVER, ALWAYS, any types of generalization.  "I can't lose weight, I come from a big family."  "I can't lose weight because I am over 60."  "I can't never eat chocolate again and be thin."  "I hate all vegetables."

If you really believe that you hate all veggies -- then you won't try something new.  If you believe other people's stories -- then you won't try and change them.



Watch your thoughts -- they become your actions.

The 3 ways to begin to change your thought process is:

1.  Notice it
2.  Challenge it
3. Turn it Around

That is the goal for the week -- every time you notice a negative thought -- how can you see it from another perspective and how can you turn it into a positive thought?

pear in next week's newsletter.