Jennifer Barley

Go. Be. Love.

The Beatles sang about it. Rumi wrote about it. Air Supply was all out of it.

Love is one of the two things everyone wants in life. We already have such an abundance of love -- to give, to feel, to share.  But so often we shield, protect, and hide our love from others.  We do that out of fear.

Fear of rejection, fear of perceived conditions, fear of separation. Often we don't want to risk the vulnerability that can come along with love, so instead we don't share as big, love as much, or express how we really feel. 

What it all comes down to risk and reward.  If you don't risk big -- you don't reward big.  In order to know love, you need to know what hurt, pain or rejection feels like.  It is all about duality, baby.  I know that we heal from the hurt.  I know that we expand from the love.

What are you willing to risk?  Where do you hold back from feeling, expressing, or sharing your love? What conditions do you put around love?

Imagine how life would be if you could fully express your love always?

What the world needs now is love sweet love....I'm in!

Go Ahead and Jump....

When I was 2 - 1/2 years old, my mom was shocked to see that my dad had encouraged me to climb up the ladder of the high dive at the pool, walk the length of the diving board and jump off to meet my dad who was treading water down below waiting for me.  I loved it and wanted to do it again.  That officially started my love of leaping!

The biggest risks can create the biggest rewards.  This has proven true in my life again and again and again.  Even though the rewards are there -- taking that first step is not always easy.  I tend to over think things. Calculate the risk verses rewards.  Mentally go over all the unknowns.  Play out every single 'what if'. After all that I listen to my heart and I leap. Every single time I am so happy to have jumped.

What I am learning more and more with each leap of faith is to listen to my heart earlier in the process.  Know what is true.  Listen to my intuition. Stay in alignment with who I am, what I value, and feels right.  The head space is great for having a safety net, a back up plan, for understanding the full picture.  But the heart space is the only place to live.

What decision are you trying to make? What does your heart tell you?  When do you try and talk yourself out of your heart space?  When does fear win?  When are you going to give yourself permission to live from the heart? What would be different if you did?

Be You....

A genuine orginial.

Find your voice.

Make a difference.

Don't forget where you came from, and never lose sight of where you are going.

Believe in your gifts, cherish them and explore their possibilities.

BE BRAVE & WILD AT HEART.

Make mistakes & don't be afraid to ask questions.

Embrace all the things that make you unique.

Practice kindness & compassion.

Be passionate about the things that matter to you.

Be a hero to someone.

Become someone you will be proud of when you look back at your life.

Be a good friend.

Live your life with no regrets.

And remember that all the things about yourself, that you sometimes wish were different, are really the most special.  

Because....

You are the real thing.

Go Out and Screw Up!

What?  Go out there and screw up?  Is that really the advice of the day?  

You bet your 'yes, you can handle anything' ass that IS the advice of the day.  If you don't put yourself out there and be ok with screwing up -- you will never go and do anything 100%. Fear will hold you back.

In order to live a fully lived life -- you have to take a chance. Risk. Stretch. Grow.  All risking, stretching and growing have the potential of a not-so-desired outcome.  And all risking, stretching and growing have the potential for amazement. It can pretty much go either way.

If you know me -- you know I am a fan of big, bold, beautiful moves. Some are great moves and some, not so much.  Regardless of the outcome, I think it is safe to say that I live life fully.  I can do an inventory of when I played things safe and when I took risks. I know that I really feel alive when I take the risk.

Life is meant to be lived.  We are given 85,000 opportunities to create whatever life we choose.  We often choose the status quo because we don't want to screw up. 

The question is when do you play it safe? When do you go big?

As one of my most favorite life coaches (my dad) said to me...."jenny...you can keep everything exactly the way it is now.  The only thing you will compromise is your happiness."

So get out there and be willing to screw it up. Open you heart. Live in vulnerability. Make a bold move. Change a career. Repaint your living room. Volunteer for a cause.  It is time to experience everything. It's time to go out there and be ok with the possibility that you might screw up...let's go.

Just Breathe....

I don't feel like I have caught my breath.  I am not fully inhaling. I am not fully exhaling. My breathing feels a bit choppy, short, sporadic and not centered. I am in my head a lot.

I have been on a bit of a 'whirlwind' lately. Go-go-go.  Now don't get me wrong, I love my little go-getter self. However sometimes the drop from 85,000 miles an hour to 85 miles an hour is a rough transition. There is a bit of aimlessness, un-focusness, and overwhelmness all at the same time.

Often when I land at home for a stretch of time -- I fill it with a bunch of 'shoulds'. I should clean my office, I should install the smoke detector, I should unpack my suitcase filled with winter clothes from my New Jersey trip....and I should do it all NOW since I only have 34 more days of downtime before the next 'whirlwind' starts to wind up. I need to hurry up and get all the things I want to get done before I don't have time to do it.

I am ready to change some of that.  I am ready to flow a bit more with the pace.  To decide in the moment what feels right.  To let go of the 'doing' and focus more on the 'being'.  I want and desire to be with my emotion, my logic, my intuition and to strike the right balance.

I am ready to get back to some of the things that I love to do that really fills my spirit.  I have started walking on the beach in the morning.  I bought new piano music yesterday.  I got a new sketchpad.  I am ready to watch dolphins.

That is what the next 34 days are for.  To focus on what is important. To rejuvenate my spirit. To be connected. To be grounded. To be with my business. To be. To breathe.

I think I just exhaled....

Time Keeps on Slipping, Slipping, Slipping....

into the future. Tick-tock-tick.

It is hard to believe how fast time flies.  In just a blink of an eye, it is Monday, August 20, 2012.  How did it all happen so fast?  Where does the time go?

Habits can easily enter our lives or disappear from our lives.  We may have had the best routine going and then all of a sudden, it has been 2 months since you tracked your food, ate healthy, got in a good workout.  

Often we awful-ize the whole kit-and-kaboodle...saying, "I can never get back in that routine" "I can't get my mo-jo back." "Once I lose my groove, I can never find it."

Ok -- that is so untrue.  

A new habit is ready to bloom.  You just need to start.  Today.  Yes, start today.  And repeat tomorrow.  And then again on day three. 

Time is going to go by anyway....so what new habit are you willing to start? Go ahead and make the commitment by posting your new habit in the comments field.

The Point of Power....

is always in the present moment.

I have a set of Louise Hay's Power Thought Cards and on rare occasion I pull a random card to read the message.  This 64- card series is filled with affirmations to help you connect with your inner strengths. The card I pulled today was about being in the present moment.

The back of the card reads: The past is over and done and has no power of me.  I can begin to be free in this moment.  Today's thoughts create my future.  I am in charge.  I now take my own power back.  I am safe and I am free.

We often give our available energy to either the past or the future.  The past is filled with "would of..." "should of...." "could of..." "why..." and the future is riddled with "what if..." 

When you are in the present -- you are securely sitting in "what is".

The most available energy we have is in THIS moment.  This very moment.  Now.  So how you align your thoughts will help you create your future. Life is a journey and sometimes we end up places unknown, unfamiliar, unforeseen.  

And you are where you are --- now give yourself the power to acutally be there.

I Am A Wacky-Ass, Positive Person Who Is True to Myself....

One of my favorite quotes of all time is:

"It is better to follow the voice inside and be at war with the whole world then to follow the ways of the world and be at war with your deepest self."
---- Michael Pastore

Don't you just love, love, love that one?

But how often do we go against who we truly are in order to fit in, to not cause a stink, to be liked, to be nice, because we are suppose to?

I think of how many Limiting Beliefs I have bought in to over the years.  You know, the beliefs that you hear from others -- media, corporate america, religion, gender-biased people, generations of family --- those who tell you who you should be, what you can be, and how you should go about doing it.

Well, limiting beliefs no longer rule my world.  I am true to me.  True to my Who. True to my wacky-ass, positive, perky, people-loving, quirky, and funny self.

How willing are you to let go of the war with yourself?

You Always Have Three Options...

"Wherever you are, be there totally.

If you find your “here and now” intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally."

~Eckhart Tolle~

 

Every Moment Describes Who You Are...

and gives you the opportunity to decide if that's who you want to be.

Ok, take that in.  Read it again.  One more time.

That's right -- we have the power to decide who we want to be. And we have the power to change our mind. It is about creating, re-creating and re-creating some more.

It just takes a little bit of reflection....asking ourselves some key questions such as:

• How did I or did I not show up as the real me?
• What worked in that interaction?  What do I want to do differently?
• What do I want to carry forward? What do I want to let go of?
• How do I want to behave?
• How do I want to do things differently?
• What is the real pay-off for change?

The key question is: What are you willing to risk in order to show up differently?

Truth or Consequences....

The theme, right now, in my house is action.  Making decisions and taking action.  Moving forward.  Getting clarity about the goals and figuring how to make those plans come alive. It feels good.

And I am now feeling like a student of action.  I am studying what makes us move, what creates flow and what stops us dead in our tracks.

Today -- let's talk about consequences.

Looking for Some Action....

In re-reading my last post about Big, Bold, Beautiful Moves, I started wondering -- why do some people go after their dreams and some people stay stuck? What makes some people successful while others stay stagnate?

One word comes to mind: Action.

Those who take action are in constant movement. Those who aren't in action are stuck.

Seems so simple, doesn't it?  So why don't people take action?  

One word comes to mind: Fear.

Fear of making the wrong decision, fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of what other people will think.

While fear is inevitable, fear is also good -- it helps you shore up a game plan, build confidence, determine how much you really want something.

When Is the Best Time to Go After Your Dreams?

so....what are you waiting for?

Waiting for The Other Shoe To Drop....

Bad things happen in threes. If I am too happy, then something bad will happen. I can't be this lucky. I'll never be happy like that again.

It is amazing the stories we tell ourselves and how those stories can change our energy.  Perhaps we are just spinning old wives tales, perhaps it is superstition, perhaps we just don't want to jinx anything.

But what if....you could consistently feel good and have things go well in your life all the time? What if you actually believed it?

How freeing would that be?

Where ever you put your energy expands.  If you are looking for the third bad thing -- well, you are going to find it. If you are thinking about the other shoe dropping, well you are going to be looking out for 'when' that will actually happen.

Our fear is that some thing -- such as happiness, joy, bliss, will be taken away from us.  It can't. Those qualities live within each of us regardless of anything external or anything that happens to us. It doesn't mean that life won't give us a wide spectrum of experiences -- but inner qualities can exist regardless of the circumstance.

Don't feel like you have to hoard your happiness -- feel it, expand it, share it, know that it has the potential to always be there.  You have to be open to that possibility. Live in a mentality of abundance -- not lack.

Allow your self to imagine the 'what if I could experience more joy' mentality.  You can.  You just have to be open to it.

That's What Friends are For....

Part one of my ideal health (still may change that name btw) exploration is really connecting to the thought of 'befriending and connecting to your genius".

When I think about establishing relationships, making new friends, or strengthening current relationships there are a lot of characteristics that come to mind that are needed to make it work:

• curiousity
• openess
• desire
• connection
• win-win approach
• sharing
• processing
• shared goals
• time
• effort
• dedication
• reflection

The stronger relationships in my life really take in to consideration all the above.  As I am connecting with my genius -- my higher health -- it will take the same characteristics to create that connection.  The most important quality at this point is time.  It is hard to connect with something if you don't put the time in to it.

So, I am commiting to spending 15 minutes each morning -- connecting to my genius when it comes to health. Through journaling, meditation, or creative exercises -- each day that 15 minutes will ground me to making the choice of living in to the best health I can.

What would it take for you to befriend your goal or to connect with your goal?

Make a commitment to that one item right now.  Let me know how it goes.