The Beatles sang about it. Rumi wrote about it. Air Supply was all out of it.
Love is one of the two things everyone wants in life. We already have such an abundance of love -- to give, to feel, to share. But so often we shield, protect, and hide our love from others. We do that out of fear.
Fear of rejection, fear of perceived conditions, fear of separation. Often we don't want to risk the vulnerability that can come along with love, so instead we don't share as big, love as much, or express how we really feel.
What it all comes down to risk and reward. If you don't risk big -- you don't reward big. In order to know love, you need to know what hurt, pain or rejection feels like. It is all about duality, baby. I know that we heal from the hurt. I know that we expand from the love.
What are you willing to risk? Where do you hold back from feeling, expressing, or sharing your love? What conditions do you put around love?
Imagine how life would be if you could fully express your love always?
What the world needs now is love sweet love....I'm in!
When I was 2 - 1/2 years old, my mom was shocked to see that my dad had encouraged me to climb up the ladder of the high dive at the pool, walk the length of the diving board and jump off to meet my dad who was treading water down below waiting for me. I loved it and wanted to do it again. That officially started my love of leaping!
The biggest risks can create the biggest rewards. This has proven true in my life again and again and again. Even though the rewards are there -- taking that first step is not always easy. I tend to over think things. Calculate the risk verses rewards. Mentally go over all the unknowns. Play out every single 'what if'. After all that I listen to my heart and I leap. Every single time I am so happy to have jumped.
What I am learning more and more with each leap of faith is to listen to my heart earlier in the process. Know what is true. Listen to my intuition. Stay in alignment with who I am, what I value, and feels right. The head space is great for having a safety net, a back up plan, for understanding the full picture. But the heart space is the only place to live.
What decision are you trying to make? What does your heart tell you? When do you try and talk yourself out of your heart space? When does fear win? When are you going to give yourself permission to live from the heart? What would be different if you did?
This is a repost from a 2009 Mother's Day blog...updated at the end to bring it relevant to 2013.....
Today is the mother of all days -- and I thought: how could I really honor my mom? I mean -- being a mom is said to be the toughest, most important job there is out there. Hence, why I decided not to have kids...but this isn't about me -- it is about my mom.
Susan Elizabeth Becker Barley -- Mother to Peter Mark and Jenny-wren Sunshine (though I was officially named at birth Jennifer Susan-- born on a cold February night after almost having me in a car -- but not quite -- in Detroit, MI over 42 years ago.)
There are only two of us Barley kids.
Dad wanted a third -- he even tried heavy, hard-hitting negotiations with my mom -- three kids and she could have someone come and clean the house once a week.
There are only two of us Barley kids.
Thinking back on it all -- maybe that is why my mom always had such a CLEAN house -- it was her weekly reminder that she probably made the right decision.
Since my mom has been my mom for 42 years -- I thought I would come up with 42 Things That I Know About My Mom.
1. My mom always had the cleanest house.
2. My mom was my Sunday School teacher, my Girl Scout Leader; my all time taxi to swimming, ballet, soccer, basketball, softball, art lessons, and Girl Scout camp.
3. My mom liked her kids to be involved.
4. My mom cooked us breakfast before school every morning.
5. My mom let us drink soda on Sunday night with dinner.
6. My mom knows how to make new friends and keep the old.
7. My mom is always getting organized.
8. My mom is passionate about equal rights for women.
9. My mom loves olives.
10. My mom will be excited when the event actually gets here.
11. My mom used to listen to Harry Ham and Nancy Drew on the car radio.
12. My mom loves to Boot Scoot Boogie.
13. My mom would be driven crazy by my brother and I fighting and she would send us to our room until our father got home -- only to find out that 10 minutes later, Pete and I had a Hot Wheels track connected between our rooms to play together until our father came home to wonder what the big deal was all about.
14. My mom and my brother always won the Leaf Raking Contest.
15. My mom started running at 40.
16. My mom use to be on a bowling team named The Happy Hookers and didn't really see the same humor in the team name selection that Pete and I did.
17. My mom has been on a zip sled pulled by the Susie.
18. My mom has Moonlight Rambled with Pete.
19. My mom loves to sing Girl Scout songs with her 42 year old daughter.
20. My mom cried when she got her first speeding ticket in our Chevy.
21. My mom lives by the Girl Scout law.
22. My mom can see 15 plays in a weekend and then wish she actually could just see one more.
23. My mom decorated my Barbie three story doll house -- with elevator -- made by my dad-- in the hippest of 70's fashion.
24. My mom and my dad are coming up on their 49th year of marriage -- and she still talks in the background when he is on the phone to me -- telling him important information that he has left out of the story.
25. My mom made hand-made invitations for my birthday parties.
26. My mom was secretly excited that when I admitted that my new Girl Scout leader (who let us watch Happy Days instead earning badges) in no-way held a candle-kiss to her.
27. My mom let her alter-ego come out in decorating the Florida condo.
28. My mom loved to host fish frys complete with whiskey sour slushes and pinatas.
29. My mom always laughed at the lobster joke -- even though it wasn't very funny.
30. My mom made me ask permission from my 3rd grade teacher to be able to miss school so we could go to Mexico.
31. My mom loves St. Louis.
32. My mom is a 4 mile a day walker -- when she gets out there.
33. My mom really hung in there during our teenage years.
34. My mom is the best quilter.
35. My mom loved being on the Chardonnay boat in Santa Cruz.
36. My mom still loves Silver Dollar City.
37. My mom is an amazing volunteer.
38. My mom looks like Annette Benning.
39. My mom loves the Cardinals.
40. My mom is always so interested to know if I have combed my hair.
41. My mom's best advice is to never leave the house without lipstick.
42. My mom is amazing.
Happy Mother's Day Mom!
I love you --
PS: Since this is an updated post -- and I am now 46 -- here are 4 additional things I know about my mom:
43. My mom acts surprised every year I sing the same Mother's Day song to her. And then she laughs and laughs.
44. My mom is the one who informed me that there are such things as Mother's Day songs.
45. My mom has a beautiful smile.
46. My mom leaves the world a better place than she found it.
What? Go out there and screw up? Is that really the advice of the day?
You bet your 'yes, you can handle anything' ass that IS the advice of the day. If you don't put yourself out there and be ok with screwing up -- you will never go and do anything 100%. Fear will hold you back.
In order to live a fully lived life -- you have to take a chance. Risk. Stretch. Grow. All risking, stretching and growing have the potential of a not-so-desired outcome. And all risking, stretching and growing have the potential for amazement. It can pretty much go either way.
If you know me -- you know I am a fan of big, bold, beautiful moves. Some are great moves and some, not so much. Regardless of the outcome, I think it is safe to say that I live life fully. I can do an inventory of when I played things safe and when I took risks. I know that I really feel alive when I take the risk.
Life is meant to be lived. We are given 85,000 opportunities to create whatever life we choose. We often choose the status quo because we don't want to screw up.
The question is when do you play it safe? When do you go big?
As one of my most favorite life coaches (my dad) said to me...."jenny...you can keep everything exactly the way it is now. The only thing you will compromise is your happiness."
So get out there and be willing to screw it up. Open you heart. Live in vulnerability. Make a bold move. Change a career. Repaint your living room. Volunteer for a cause. It is time to experience everything. It's time to go out there and be ok with the possibility that you might screw up...let's go.
I often hear how people do not like transition. There is a fear of the unknown.
There is the disappointment that something did not work out. There is the having to let go. There is the uncertainty of how it will all come together.
The beautiful thing about transition is that when you are transitioning from one thing to the other -- you actually have movement.
For me, transition happens because something is NOT working -- so the need for change is there.
Change happens with things are stagnate and I welcome the process of looking at what is working and what is not. While the unknown is the scarey part --- we are SO capable of adjusting. We just have to remember that.
What transtion have you been resisting? What is the most difficult part of the transition? If you could design any outcome -- what would it look like?
If you felt like the choice to transition was not yours -- what needs to happen to take ownership of it?
Movement is good. Change is good. Let the transitions of life continue.
I get a massage every Monday. It is my special treat to myself to help me take care of me, to relax, to honor my body and to thank my muscles for what they do for me. Today my appointment was at 12:45.
Right before it was time to leave, due to a variety of factors, I did not have a car to get to my appointment. While normally it would not be a big deal to jump on my scooter and scoot over --- today it was raining and cold today.
I really wanted to go to my appointment -- so I bundled up and got out in the rain and scooted towards 1st Ave. It was wet and cold and I wanted to get there fast -- and I found myself going between 45 - 50 mph. At first I was really irritated that I had to ride my scooter and be wet and cold. And then it hit me....
There I was riding my scooter -- in the rain, in the cold, driving fast and only a few short months ago I was just hoping to ride the scooter one tiny, tiny mile in the beautiful weather to the beach. I have come a long way. It was a moment of pure joy. The joy came from realizing that I had faced a fear back in August that now seems so trivial....from realizing that whatever scares me can be overcome...from realizing that once I recognized that I had confidence, I never even gave it a second doubt.
In 2013, I am ready to push the boundaries of my comfort zone. I am ready to try things in a new way. I am ready to continue to amaze myself. That is where life begins.
I am ready to master the art of racing in the rain.
I don't feel like I have caught my breath. I am not fully inhaling. I am not fully exhaling. My breathing feels a bit choppy, short, sporadic and not centered. I am in my head a lot.
I have been on a bit of a 'whirlwind' lately. Go-go-go. Now don't get me wrong, I love my little go-getter self. However sometimes the drop from 85,000 miles an hour to 85 miles an hour is a rough transition. There is a bit of aimlessness, un-focusness, and overwhelmness all at the same time.
Often when I land at home for a stretch of time -- I fill it with a bunch of 'shoulds'. I should clean my office, I should install the smoke detector, I should unpack my suitcase filled with winter clothes from my New Jersey trip....and I should do it all NOW since I only have 34 more days of downtime before the next 'whirlwind' starts to wind up. I need to hurry up and get all the things I want to get done before I don't have time to do it.
I am ready to change some of that. I am ready to flow a bit more with the pace. To decide in the moment what feels right. To let go of the 'doing' and focus more on the 'being'. I want and desire to be with my emotion, my logic, my intuition and to strike the right balance.
I am ready to get back to some of the things that I love to do that really fills my spirit. I have started walking on the beach in the morning. I bought new piano music yesterday. I got a new sketchpad. I am ready to watch dolphins.
That is what the next 34 days are for. To focus on what is important. To rejuvenate my spirit. To be connected. To be grounded. To be with my business. To be. To breathe.
So often we put labels on who we are --- I am a daughter, a sister, a teacher, a community member, a democrat, a volunteer etc.
As soon as we follow 'I am...' with a word -- we are not allowing our whole being to shine through.
Those words...daughter, teacher etc. are descriptors of various roles we play in this world -- but they truly don't embrace who we are. Sometimes the descriptors are attributes and characteristics. When we say one attribute -- we don't include the others.
We are each filled with unlimited possibility. We have the capacity to go further, deeper and experience much more of a full spectrum.
It is time to start living in an unlimited zone. A place where anything is possible and where everything already is.
It has been a full fall and it is all flying by way too fast.
Since September 9th I have been on the road for 34 days -- doing the iPEC World Tour -- bouncing around between San Antonio, Miami, Chicago, Atlanta and Tampa. I announced my partnership with Ed Abel of the Skillpreneur Business Growth Center and we have been going full force and having a blast. My colleague, Michal Spiegelman (www.balancedmoments.com) and I have been busy planning for our 2013 WOW Year Telesummit! And I have almost 446 miles on my scooter.
The thing I might be most excited about is the 446 miles on my scooter. If you are wondering why -- check out my September 9th post -- yes, the post right below this one. It has been that long since I have typed. I have missed you all.
Just eight more travel days and then come December 1st I will be home for a solid 5 weeks.
I look forward to more postings and musings and inside thoughts to share. I have them all the time -- just haven't committed them to paper.
Ever since I was 16 years old I had visions of me living in Florida, being a radio DJ and riding around town on my scooter. It is interesting how each of those pieces of the vision have happened although not all at the same time.
I went to college and majored in broadcasting and was a summer intern announcer in St. Louis for Suny 101 -- so the DJ part - check. I moved to Florida in 2011 -- so Fl - check. And just recently I added riding my scooter around town. The scooter part was a true process.
When I first moved to Florida last August I bought a scooter. And what a beautiful scooter it was. A Genuine Motor Scooter Company bike named Stella. It was a beautiful avocado green bike that was so so so so cute. AND it had gears while most scooters are automatic.
I was in love with the style and look of the scooter -- so much that I overlooked the part of having to shift gears. I felt sure I would get the hang of it. Well, I didn't. I never felt comfortable. I was afraid to be on it. And there I was with a scooter -- sitting in the garage. And I still had my vision of being a scooter girl. It created a lot of inner conflict for me.
It took a group coaching session where students from San Antonio, TX coached me around my disappointment in myself for not being able to get out on the road with the bike. All different options came up -- just give up, just keep practicing, trade in the scooter for an automatic.
I was really sitting on the fence on the whole concept. I was asked some great coaching questions -- and the truth came out. I was afraid.
Life doesn't always turn out the way that we think it will. Often we hold tightly to a vision that was created so long ago of what we thought our life would be like....and when life doesn't turn out that way, we can't let go of the old vision.
We spend a lot energy living with regret, with disappointment, with anger about the way things have turned out. We stay in our fear of the unplanned so much that it prevents us from living the life that is waiting for us.
Often we get stuck in anger. Anger is an emotion that we hold on to because we wished things had been different.
Anger is finding blame in others, in self, in circumstances. Anger is a cover -- for the pain we are experiencing.
We only live one life. Do you want to live it focused on the past -- or looking toward the future?
I say go for the future -- at least is is a new adventure as opposed to roads we already know. And that is where new magic can happen!
In order to look towards the future you have to acknowledge the disappointment, be willing to let go of the security of anger, and to know that it will all be ok.